A Tribute to my Mom (from 2011)

In honor of Mother's Day, I decided to repost this tribute I wrote back in 2011 when I was in China.  I still feel the exact same way about this amazing woman and even more so now that I'm also a Mama.

 

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.  Give her the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates. 

Proverbs 31: 30-31

My Mama.  Oh. how I wish words could express  the depths of love and adoration I have for this woman I call Mama. She is a true gem--a pearl of great value. One in a million. A lily among thorns.  And I thank my King every single day for blessing me with this precious gift.  You see, she's not just my Mama.  She's my best friend.  This relationship is a gift that many mothers and daughters long for..  I am so thankful.

Memories from my childhood are infiltrated with sweet thoughts of this precious woman.  She used to sit on the front porch of my playhouse for hours while I played inside.  She was the official "babysitter" for all my "children".  I played by myself pretty well, but I just liked knowing she was there.  Her presence brought comfort.  So hour by hour she would sit. 

I remember snuggling up in my bed after a long day and she would read stories to Luke and me before bedtime.  We would close our eyes and just listen.  I'm sure she still had tons of household chores to do after we went to bed, but I never remember bedtime being rushed.  It was always a sacred time of "I love yous" and snuggles.  (Truth be told, I still like her to tuck me in when I'm home...folks, I'm almost 21 years old! That can be our little secret!).

I remember my Mama being the "Class Mom" in my elementary school classes.  She would show up every Wednesday afternoon to volunteer.  She would usually sit in a corner and cut out things or staple papers, and I loved every second of just knowing she was nearby.

One time, in particular, I remember I desperately wanted to stay up and watch a meteor shower.  (I probably didn't even know what a meteor shower was at that point!) But it sounded cool.  It was a really really cold night, and after a few hours of begging, she gave in.  We got our sleeping bags and headed out to the driveway.  It snuggled up and waited...and waited...and waited.  Never saw that meteor shower, but I still remember that night.  I'm sure the last thing Mom really wanted to do was sit out in the bitter cold to watch the stars...but she did it anyways!

I love my Mama for all these memories.  I am thankful for every sacrifice she made and every tear she has  shed on behalf of her children.  But most of all, I am thankful that my Mama showed me Him.  You know, I really have no idea if I would know Him like I do now if it weren't for my sweet Mama.  Her prayers, her example, her words, her songs, her sweet spirit, her hospitality, her joy, her kindness...she has been HIM to me.  She raised me to KNOW Him and to love Him...and now she has loved me enough to let me FOLLOW Him.  Even if that means that I have to go very very very far away.  Thank you, Mama, for loving Him enough...and for loving me enough...to let me follow Him.  Your support and blessing mean the world to me.  

My Mama always says, "Remember, you have a Mama who prays for you every single day."  Oh, the power of a praying Mama!

Happy Mother's Day to the best Mama in the whole wide world. 

I love you mostest

Our Birthday Boy

This post is only about two months overdue, but never too late.  Ladies and gentlemen, we have a big one-year-old at our house!  He's as active as ever, cruising around wherever he pleases, and loves to hold kitchen spatulas and big sticks.

John Hudson's first birthday was a joy! We celebrated with all of our family at Michael's parents' house.  JH loved being the center of attention and he loved his cake.  Love is not a strong enough word for how he felt about his cake, actually.  I used this recipe minus the berry filling.  We sweetened with maple syrup and ta-da! Grain free, sugar free birthday cake fit for a king.  I was a little worried about the cake having 6 eggs since John Hudson had an allergic reaction to eggs before, but he did great.

We were shocked at the amount of cake he consumed.  This was after eating a full meal at dinner, too!

John Hudson started walking at almost 13 months.  Now that he's almost 14 months, he's getting around very easily.  He loves his newfound freedom, especially in huge crowds.  I'm thinking a leash might be a good investment (just kidding, not really...).  He also loves pretending to talk on cell phones! It is adorable.  Grammie got him his own "cell phone" for his birthday and its been a huge hit.  He jabbers and carries on as if someone is really on the line. 

Did I mention that John Hudson loves kitchen spatulas and big sticks?  Oh, and rocks. A gravel driveway is his paradise.  Our kitchen spatulas and wooden spoons are strewn all over the house.  One morning, he held onto a wooden spoon all morning, took it on our morning walk, slept for 2 hours in his crib and ate lunch all without letting go.  Pretty impressive.  He would do the same with huge sticks if I would let him have them in the house! Sweet little boy.

God is still teaching us a lot about disciplining John Hudson.  Some days are so delightful and some days are just so difficult.  He is testing us at every corner to see if we mean what we say.  We pray that God will continue to give us perseverance and wisdom as we train him up.  We are so very thankful for the godly families God has placed in our lives that can help us navigate this journey.  Proverbs 23:13-14 is pretty clear:  Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol.

John Hudson is becoming more of a picky eater, unfortunately.  He'll eat anything if its covered with sweet potatoes or butternut squash.  Or bananas.  We do let him enjoy these favorites weekly, but we're also trying to widen his palate.  For breakfast, JH usually has a banana and a piece of apple gate nitrate free breakfast sausage.  We are hoping to try eggs again soon (but I'm chicken!...no pun intended). Mid-morning he usually drinks a smoothie containing 1/2 banana, a few pieces of frozen fruit, our beloved raw milk kefir, and tons of coconut oil.  For lunch, JH loves avacado, nitrate free sandwich meat, cheese, or leftovers from the night before.  Dinner is usually just whatever we're having minus grains, beans, and sugar.  It's so great being able to feed him whatever we're having, but whether he'll actually eat it is another story.  But, we're discovering that he will eat when he gets hungry enough.  So if he refuses to eat at dinner, he must sit "quietly" while Michael and I eat.  If he seems hungry at bed time then he is offered the same food as dinner.  Sometimes he will eat, sometimes he will not.  But we want to encourage an attitude of joy and thankfulness at meal times, whether he loves the food or not.  

Our current schedule changes pretty much weekly because John Hudson and I are still going to Mommy and Me between 3-5 days a week.  The school year will be ending soon and I'm hoping to get on more of a routine.  But a "typical" day runs like this:

7-7:30- Wake up and nurse
            Eat Breakfast
8:15- Leave for M&M
10:30- Drink Smoothie from sippy cup
12:45- Arrive home, eat lunch if not already sleeping
12:45-2:45- Much needed nap
3-      Eat lunch if didn't before
3-5:45- Play, play, play! Sometimes eat a small snack
5:45- Daddy comes home; eat dinner
6:30-7:30- Playtime with Daddy, evening walk
7-7:30- Bath time
8- Read, sing, pray, nurse, night night! 

As you can see, on Mommy & Me days JH only takes one nap.  I'm not sure if this will stay the same when we're home all day or if he'll fall back into the two nap-a-day routine.  Either way is fine with me as long as he's rested!

You can also see that we're only nursing at morning and night now.  Its very bittersweet for me to be weaning, but I'm also thankful that it has been pretty easy to do, so far.  He never asks to nurse during the day anymore.  Our morning nursing sessions are very sweet because normally I'm already up and have coffee and I can read my Bible and meditate while he nurses and dozes (sometimes for 30 minutes if we have time!).  I hope to have this sweet time for a few more months.  

What a wonderful year it has been! We pray for many, many more years with our sweet boy.  He has taught us more already than we'll ever be able to teach him. Thank you, Lord, for this precious blessing!

My journey with PCOS and Healthy Eating

This post was originally written as a guest post for my dear friend Mrs. Joli, at Following Where He Leads in March of 2014.  I'm thankful she asked me to write about my journey with PCOS and healthy eating because it made me sit down and think through the whole story! God so clearly orchestrated it all.  Since writing this blog, I have also begun using Young Living Essential Oils, which have only furthered my journey into more natural living and blessed our family in more ways than I can count!

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It's an honor to be a guest writer here at Following Where He Leads. I follow Mrs. Joli's blog faithfully and I jumped at the opportunity to be featured here! The story I'm going to share today is one of trials, hard lessons, God's faithfulness, and...food. I pray that the Lord will use it to encourage your heart and cause you to ask questions about things that you've always just assumed to be true.

When I was a little girl and well into my adolescent years, I remember getting frequent compliments about my complexion. "Your skin is flawless!" they would say and then proceed to ask me how I managed to keep clear skin during the tumultuous teenage years. I didn't know how to answer that because I didn't know that God had chosen to give me clear skin up until a certain point in order to teach me a mighty lesson about caring for my body and trusting Him with the outcomes and details.

In August of 2012, I was living in China--the summer heat and smog were almost suffocating. I was weary from a busy summer of hosting teams, getting engaged to the man of my dreams, escorting a sweet little boy to Hong Kong for surgery, and being unable to come home for my sweet Mimi's funeral. They say the days are long but the years are short--as I look back on this busy time I realize how true this statement is! One day I noticed that I had a few red pimples on my face. Nothing too concerning considering the stress I'd been under. But after a few weeks, I barely looked like the same person.

My cheeks and chin were covered with nasty dots of angry puss. It was so alarming that Dr. Steve was sure I had contracted some sort of bacterial infection. He put me on an antibiotic, which I gratefully accepted. This antibiotic led to a series of 5 different antibiotics and finally to a teary meeting with the dermatologist in which he said, "If you don't go on Accutane, I don't think you're face will be clear for your wedding in June...or ever". (This was many months later, after I had returned to the US). But after much research, I found out about Accutane's long list of terrifying side effects, including severe birth defects if I were to get pregnant. Being six months away from my wedding, this just wasn't something I could risk.

The dermatologist suggested that I go ahead and schedule my first appointment with the gynecologist. When I began telling her my symptoms, she suggested we do some blood work to test for polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). She didn't think it was likely, but wanted to make sure. A few weeks later, I got a phone call from her that confirmed that I did indeed have PCOS . My testosterone levels were off the charts, which explained the sudden outburst of acne, untreatable by antibiotics. We were dealing with a hormone issue, not a bacterial infection. She acted as if it was no big deal and said birth control would fix the problem.

But for some reason, I questioned her advice. I asked if the symptoms would return if and when I stopped taking birth control. The answer was yes, most likely. I realized then that I could take medication to mask the problem and give me a false sense of security, or I could try getting to the root of the problem. The Lord was also prompting Michael and I to ask other serious questions about birth control--for totally different reasons than acne. He was nudging us to believe that we could trust Him with our lives, our agendas, and yes, even our bodies.

I returned home that day feeling defeated. I looked like I just might have this awful acne on my face forever. My wedding photos would be plagued with an undeniable mark. I looked hopelessly at people with clear faces, trying to remember what it felt like to be one of them. It was in these moments of intense insecurity and vanity that the Lord drew me near and whispered His truth to my wayward heart. He nudged me to practice an attitude of thankfulness as I got ready each morning. I would thank God for my blue eyes, my hair, my eyelashes. My lips would repeat phrases of thankfulness while I begged my heart to follow. One day, Michael gently reminded me of one of our precious friends who was battling cancer. She lost her hair with chemo treatments and was almost bald on her wedding day. But she was one of the most radiant brides I have ever seen in my life. It's because her beauty came from a place far beneath the surface of her skin. Her beauty came from a passionate and intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. I wanted that kind of beauty. This earthly tent will one day fade away and we will be given a new, glorious body that we will enjoy for all of eternity. Truly, the writer of Proverbs was correct, "Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." (Proverbs 31:30).

Feeling renewed, I began researching PCOS. I reached out to anyone I could think of who might be able to offer some advice. I resolved to trust the Lord whether He chose to heal my face or not. If you are unfamiliar with PCOS, I'll quote another blogger at Keeper of the Home in her definition, "It is a hormonal disorder that can look a bit different in each woman, but generally it involves sporadic or non-existent ovulation, higher than usual male hormones, and sometimes actual ovarian cysts. For most women, it means that their entire hormonal balance and menstrual cycle is completely out of whack." 

I learned that the root of PCOS is an insulin resistance. In fact, many doctors relate PCOS to type two diabetes and prescribe diabetes medication as a manager of PCOS. I also learned that PCOS is one of the leading causes of infertility among women. Panic filled my heart as I reminded the Lord of my desperate desire to be a mom someday. He gently reminded me that He is faithful. He simply desires my obedience and my heart.

So, now that I was learning what this disease actually was, the question was what could I do about it? Stephanie's blog - Keeper Of The Home -  was a God-send as I began navigating this journey. I learned that there is hope for people with PCOS! She encouraged me that I could make simple changes in my diet and lifestyle and see big results. I learned that I was actually putting things into my body that were essentially acting as poison to my endocrine system--processed foods, refined sugars and grains, ingredients that I couldn't pronounce, fat-free products, soy, and more. Sure, I tried to eat "healthy"--you know, low-fat butter spray (no calories!), fat-free flavored yogurt, and high-fructose-corn syrup laden granola bars truly were my idea of healthy. I had counted calories my whole life. Could it be that these "healthy" things were actually destroying my body? This began a journey of the Lord retraining my mind and my heart to eat in a way that He actually designed to work best with my body.

I took the plunge. I traded margarine for full fat butter, coconut oil, and olive oil. Skim milk for whole, raw milk. White flour for whole grains that had been properly soaked. Refined sugar for honey and grade B maple syrup. We began making homemade bone broth and yogurt... just to name a few. It was overwhelming and exciting all at once. I guess it may sound a little extreme, but I once I learned how harmful some of the things I used to put into my body were, I couldn't go back! The more I researched and learned, the more I realized that I have a great responsibility to honor the Lord with what I put in my body. The results can be left up to Him.

After a month of eating this way, we began to notice that the bumps on my face seemed a lot flatter. The redness was still there, but the massive blister-like bumps were beginning to fade. After two months, they were gone completely.

And five months later when I walked down the aisle in my white wedding dress, my face was clearer than it had been in almost a year.

Our Almighty God healed my face. Not because He had to. He would still be just as trustworthy and faithful had He chosen not to heal my face. But, in His gracious power, He chose to use this journey to teach me a few lessons that I will cherish in my heart forever.

 1.) True beauty is something that can never be taken from me if Jesus is the object of my heart's affections--no matter what happens to my earthly body.

2.) I simply cannot trust everything that well-meaning doctors tell me. I have the ability and responsibility to research and prayerfully make decisions that are best for myself and my family

3.) God designed my body to work best when it's being nourished by whole foods, not by man-made chemicals. (*side note* I do still consume sweets, fast food, and Campbell's soup on occasion. It's not about making a strict list of rules to follow, it's about loving Jesus and doing my best to nourish my body in a way that honors Him)

As I type this blog, I am sitting in a rocking chair nestled in the corner of our sweet baby boy's new nursery. My belly is getting bigger by the minute as we anticipate his arrival any day now. Yes, the Lord did indeed heal my face, but through this journey to whole foods, He gave me another miraculous gift. A precious baby. He used my acne to reveal a deeper problem that could have had a major impact on my ability to get pregnant. But in His sovereignty and grace, he chose to reveal the truth and heal my body through natural means before it was a problem. Praise Yahweh.

Our Father's ways are perfect, even when He takes us on a roller coaster of a journey to get to where He wants us. May you be encouraged to trust His gentle nudges and to explore the ways He created your body to function at its full potential. It's liberating and fun and trust me, you'll feel better, too!

Beautiful Things

 This is going to be a very honest post.  It is straight from my heart, from where I'm currently at.  I want to share first for myself, so that I can remember these days and the truth God is teaching me through them.  And secondly, because I imagine someone has had to have felt the same way at some point or another. Just humor me and say that you have :)

I don't feel beautiful.  And I'm not talking about the get-pretty-in-front-of-the-mirror kind of beautiful.  I'm talking about the soul-deep beauty that only comes from Christ Jesus.  I'm talking about that radiant glow found in a woman who fears the LORD.  I'm talking about the gentle and quiet spirit that is of great worth in God's eyes.  That's the beauty I crave, and that's the beauty I feel I don't have.

I've been struggling, and I mean struggling to find quiet moments with the Lord.  Before having a child, I would spend hours every morning with my journal, Bible and coffee--pouring my heart out to my King.  That was a luxury and a season.  Its been a year since my baby was born and I haven't figured out how to have a "quiet time" or how to abide with my King as I go about daily tasks.  I feel really sad and guilty about that.

I have been getting angry when my little one doesn't obey.  I've felt things toward him that I never want to feel towards my baby...really mean and angry things.  It breaks my heart and makes me want to cry.  And I feel like I can't tell anyone for fear that they'll think I don't love him.  I do love him, so much that it hurts.  But I am just a really sinful mama who doesn't always submit her emotions to God.  And I feel really sad and guilty about that.

Honestly, I feel like a failure a lot of days.  My husband comes home to a sad, spiritually dry wife who doesn't know how to communicate how she feels so instead she takes her emotions out on him, in not-so-nice ways.  I want our home to be a place of joy and peace, a haven for my husband to come home to after a long day at work.  So many days it is not that place.  And I feel really sad and guilty about that.

So, you see, most days I feel anything but beautiful.  Especially not the kind of beautiful I desire.

Last week my dear friend watched John Hudson for me so I could steal away to a quaint coffee shop for some quiet moments with Jesus.  I sat for two hours--journaling, staring into space, watching people, and praying.  I told Jesus exactly how I feel.  I didn't sugar coat anything (Why do we try to do that with God, anyways? As if he doesn't already know...) I told him that I am bogged down, I feel lifeless, I feel resentful, I feel sad.  I know all the "answers" and I keep telling them to myself...but they seem to be ringing on deaf ears.  I got it all out.  I stopped pretending with God and with myself.  And Jesus met me there.

I make beautiful things out of dust.

He whispered so gently in my ear.

And they scolded her.  But Jesus said, "Leave her alone.  Why do you trouble her? She has done a beautiful thing to me."  Mark 14:6

This woman--marred and torn by sin--offered her brokenness to Jesus.  She humbled herself and poured out her heart, her soul, and her most expensive perfume.  She anointed him as her King, even though she was totally unworthy to even call Him such. She gave Jesus her brokenness and He made her beautiful.  

These broken places remind us that we are absolutely dependent on our Risen Savior.  When we are this broken, we are rid of our pride and loftiness that so often gets in the way of true repentance and fellowship.  When we are this broken, God can make us beautiful by the blood of Jesus--not by our own merit or effort. 

 He can make us beautiful because of our brokenness, not despite of our brokenness. 

May we behold what is beautiful today--that is Jesus.  He alone makes beautiful things out of dust.

11 Months

 As you can see, our John Hudson is quite the active little fellow!  Now that he can crawl (very quickly) anywhere he pleases, the last thing he wants to do is stay still for a picture with curious George! Come on, Mom! Oh well, at least his 11th month is documented and we'll have to find a new photo position for year 2, haha! 

John Hudson is turning into a little person right before our very eyes.  Very often Michael and I will look at each other and say, "He seems so big!"  My Mama's heart is beaming with joy and also wanting to cry at the same time! This month, JH has become a master at "winking" where he actually blinks both eyes very exaggeratedly.  It. is. adorable.  When asked, "What does the doggy say?" He excitedly responds Woof Woof!  We were so proud of this accomplishment and proudly showing off his new trick to everyone, when one night at dinner Michael asked him, "What does Mommy say?"  And JH responded Woof Woof! .....Uh oh.  "What does Daddy say?" Woof Woof! "What does Grammie say?" Woof Woof! So, we're not entirely sure whether he grasps the concept of what the dog actually says, but it is very cute nonetheless. He can also say DaDa, MaMa and Hi. And lots of other sounds that we cannot yet interpret.

Another big milestone this month was John Hudson's first official hair cut.  He has had two small trims before, but this was the real deal.  Michael did a great job and I tried not to be too sad.  John Hudson squirmed a lot, so there are some uneven spots here and there, but overall he looks quite handsome!  Well done, barber Daddy!

It has been so fun watching John Hudson's personality develop.  Each morning when he wakes up, he crawls straight into the living room and picks up the blocks on this wooden train.  He taps the blocks together a few times and then holds one in each hand as he crawls around the house.  He loves to crawl with one toy in each hand, making a clunking sound wherever he goes.  At least we don't have to wonder where he is!

He's beginning to get the idea of pretending.  Just the other day, he picked up a block and held it to his ear and said Hi! We were shocked! I guess he really is watching every.little.thing.we.do!  Another new game is crawling under his play table and pretending to be asleep.  We'll say, "Night night, John Hudson!" and he giggles and tries to be still for a moment before popping back up

A few weeks ago, we were able to take a day trip to North Georgia to go hiking.  The weather was beautiful and the scenery breathtaking.  We chose a 5 mile hike that follows along a rushing creek and culminates with a beautiful waterfall crashing between two huge boulders.  John Hudson rode in the Ergo on Michael's back the whole time and loved every second.  He was tuckered out by the time we started heading back and took a nice little nap!

The past few weeks have been beautiful in regards to sleep. John Hudson has been sleeping through the night pretty much every night for about three weeks now.  I'm trying not to "hold my breath"  but I am so very thankful for extra rest from the Lord.  Our nightly schedule is the same, but he's been sleeping from 8m-6am without waking! Some nights he wakes for just a moment but usually goes right back to sleep.  I nurse him at 6 and he usually sleeps until 7 or 7:30.  Praise God!

John Hudson's behavior overall has been great this month. He truly is a sweet boy with a calm countenance, Glory to God!  But there have been very trying moments when he gets angry (usually when he is told "no").  He arches his back and throws himself back into whatever is behind him...and sometimes it really hurts!  We are praying daily for wisdom as we navigate these training years.  I often have to repent and ask forgiveness for acting in anger and/or using a harsh tone of voice.  Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.  I pray that God will give me patience to think before I act and to always speak kindly and tenderly, even when I am discipling. We pray, also that God is shaping John Hudson's heart and pulling him towards the things of God.

It has been a wonderful month, indeed.  We look forward to many more, Lord Willing!

John Hudson has an Announcement to Make!

That's right!  God in His gracious mercy and infinite wisdom has chosen to give us another baby! We are overwhelmed, excited, nervous, and thankful.  The Lord has truly shown favor on us.  Here is my recollection of the night we found out the news.

I can't even believe it.  I was so shocked when I saw that second line forming on the pregnancy test.  My heart was pounding beneath my chest as I stood in awe. I slipped out of the bathroom and sat down beside Michael. I took his hand and put it over my trembling heart.  I whispered, "We're going to have another baby!" into his eager ear.  He giggled and responded with a little boyish "Reeeally?!" We both erupted into giddy giggles and excitement.  We hugged and sat in wonder for a while.  We calculated due dates and the space between our children.  Then Michael left to get ice cream from Coldstone Creamery (our baby tradition) while I stayed home and looked up prenatal vitamins and refreshed my memory on all things pregnancy (but it's crazy how much you remember when its only been nine months since you were pregnant!).  We jumped up and down in the kitchen when Michael returned--like small children on Christmas morning.  What a gift we have been given!

But as we sat on the couch and then laid on the bed that evening,  I began having feelings of overwhelming anxiety and worry.  

Really? You're excited?  Don't you realize how much more complicated your life just got?Your nine month old isn't even sleeping through the night! You can kiss sleep goodbye forever now! Don't you know how much work it will be to have two children under the age of two? People are going to think you've really lost it now! A honeymoon baby was bad enough, now another one nine months later? You are very irresponsible. Not to mention...how are you going to care for your current baby when your face is in the toilet every morning? Oh, and where will you put this baby? Every inch of your house is invaded with baby stuff already.  Well, good luck! This is what you get for trusting God with the timing of your children!

I crumpled with fear, sadness, and doubt. I felt as if I would choke.  I couldn't lay in bed any longer as my body tossed and turned beneath the covers.  The voice speaking to me was not the voice of my Father.  I know this because each thought left me feeling guilty and ashamed.  I know this because my Father loves children and He fashions them together in His perfect timing and His perfect way.  Not one, no not one, is ever a mistake. I know this because my Father names children a reward even when our culture names them a curse.  I know this because my Father has called me to live a life of faith and to joyfully trust him with every detail of my life, even and especially with the timing of our children.  I know this because His word says that we are to tell everyone of the reason for the hope that we have and we are to proclaim His faithfulness to the coming generations.  What better way to do that than to raise and disciple children here in our very home?  It is clear that the one speaking was not the voice of my Father.

No, this was a different voice.  An evil voice.  A voice that hates children.  It was a voice that breathes lies just as we breathe air.  It was a voice whose main goal is to steal, kill, and destroy.  It was a voice that seeks to tear apart families, a voice that loves to create orphans and keep them that way, a voice that loves to murder innocent children before they are even born.  It was a voice that seethes with anger when God's word is obeyed.  It was a voice that whispers words of discouragement, deception, and doubt...and finds great joy in doing so.  It was a voice that despises everything that God cherishes.  Including Godly offspring. Because every time a baby is conceived, life springs forth and the enemy is reminded that YAHWEH is on the throne and He will have the victory.  Satan hates life, therefore he hates children.

Now the question is, who will we listen to?

Jesus, forgive us.  Forgive us for every time we believe these lies maliciously thrown at us by the enemy of our souls. Forgive us for so badly wanting to please the world and gain approval in the eyes of men.  Forgive me for my strong desire to be "normal" and not to live radically.  Equip us to fight these flaming arrows with truth. Your Word is Truth.  God, you are our judge.  One day we will enter your rest permanently, but until then life will be hard.  May we live each day with our eyes fixed on eternity.  You are are greatest treasure.  May the humble words of Mary be the cry of our hearts, 

"Behold I am a servant of the Lord; let it be done to me according to your Word."

Luke 1:38 

Ten Months

Our little guy is ten months old! What a joy these last ten months have been!  We've seen lots of changes this month.  He started officially crawling (on hands and knees) and pulling up on the same day (December 29th).  Now that he's officially mobile, he follows us all over the apartment.  Even to the bathroom. He's always standing up in his crib when he politely calls for us in the wee hours of the morning.

As I mentioned in my last post, this month entailed lots of Christmas celebrations.  John Hudson did wonderfully as he was off schedule and around a lot of different faces.  His Oma and Opa gave him a fun airplane that he can ride and it makes fun noises. But his favorite part of the airplane?  The stick that extends a handle on the back so parents can push!  He is obsessed with his metal stick (probably not the safest toy), and even insists on eating dinner while holding it.

Speaking of eating, our little John Hudson is quite the eater.  He now enjoys many dishes including: ground beef, beef liver, chicken, chicken broth, sweet potatoes, butternut squash, blueberries (his new favorite!), bananas, kefir smoothies, tangerines, broccoli, zucchini, rutabaga,  squash, strawberries...and probably some more I've forgotten.  I'm convinced that he would eat blueberries all day every day if I would let him.  I'm thankful he's a good eater.  We still nurse about 5 times a day and usually once at night.

Nights are still a trial around here.  For the past few weeks he's been waking up at 2am to nurse and then again around 5.  At 5  we lay him down and tell him its still night night time.  He usually cries for a bit and then falls back to sleep until around 7:30.  I hope God will grant him peace to begin sleeping through the night soon, but until then we're surviving!

John Hudson and I started going to Mommy & Me again on January 7th.  It was so nice to have the whole month of December off, but we're enjoying seeing our friends again.  For the next few weeks (due to a pregnant and sicky mama), we'll only be going on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday which is such a sweet blessing.  John Hudson does a great job at M&M and plays nicely on the floor with the other kiddos.  Occasionally he cries when I leave the room, but normally he's fine.  He usually sleeps for about 30 minutes there and then takes a 2 hour nap in the afternoon.

Here's a rough schedule:

7:30 Wake up and Daddy dresses JH
8 Leave for Mommy & Me
10:15 Nap at M&M
12:45 Arrive home and eat lunch
2 Nap time! (sometimes he plays in his crib for up to an hour before falling asleep)
4 Wake up and eat small snack (banana or blueberries)
6 Supper
7 Bath time
7:30 Read, pray and sing
8-8:30- Night Night!

In addition to standing and crawling, John Hudson loves to play peek-a-boo with his beloved blue blanket.  It's so fun watching his little sense of humor develop.  He thinks he's a really funny guy, and we tend to agree.

As the months go on, it is getting harder and harder to capture his "month" picture.  Now he would rather chew on, sit on, or hug George instead of pose beside him for a photo!

John Hudson, you are the light of our days.  We love you so very much!