Clara Jo is four months old!

Our sweet Clara Jo is four months old. She is an absolute delight and we adore this little lady more and more each month.

If I could describe Clara in one word it would be content. She is just so easy-going and sweet! Some days, I get to the end of the day and feel like I haven't even held her at all...because she's so happy playing on her mat, sitting in her bumbo, or hanging out in the rock-n-play. The only time she gets fussy is when she's sleepy. What a blessing!

Rolling--Clara is now rolling both ways like a champ. (As I write this she is four months plus 12 days). Its only been in the past few days that she has really gotten the hang of rolling from back to front. We all still celebrate every time she takes the plunge and rolls over. She is very proud :) When I get her out of bed from naps, most of the time she is laying on her back cooing and smiling.

We had Clara's four month check up last week. Our girl is healthy and growing strong. Thank you Lord! She weighs 16 lbs, is 26 inches long and her head is 16.5 inches. She is in the 95 percentile in height and 75% in weight. Her six month clothes are starting to get a little snug and we just moved up to size 3 diapers this week! I can hardly believe how fast she's growing. I feel like she was just born. 

It was so wonderful having Clara with us for Christmas this year. There's something so special about having a baby in your home around Christmastime. It reminds you of how helpless they are--and to think, the God of all creation humbled Himself and became just that--helpless and totally dependent on others. I really enjoyed reflecting on that magnificent truth this season.  For Christmas, Clara got some new bows, lacy socks, and this little Bible. We are excited to read this Bible as a family. We pray that our little Clara will reflect Jesus to the world and be a faithful servant of Him all the days of her life.

Clara is still sleeping pretty well; although she is waking more than before. I guess we've hit that magic 4 month mark! (Four months is when John Hudson officially stopped sleeping--until he was over a year old).  The past week or so she's been waking 2 times at night. But I'm still not complaining (Yet...hah). Her naps have been amazing though. She has been taking at least 2 solid naps a day (like 2-3 hours) and sometimes she does another cat nap in the evenings. We've been working to get her to go down for a nap on her own. Some days she does this really well...and some days she screams. Usually if she nurses first and gets good and drowsy, she goes down just fine.  She usually goes to bed around 8 and wakes for the day between 7-8 am.  She still sleeps in her crib right beside my bed and I still love having her so close.

Girlfriend Clara Jo loves to nurse! I'd say she still nurses every 2 hours when she's awake and will go 3-4 hours if she's napping. She still refuses a bottle, so leaving her with a babysitter is not really an option right now.  Although we did leave all three children with WaWa while Michael and I went to see the Atlanta Symphony during Christmas break. Clara did wonderfully! She not only went the whole time without eating, but also went to bed completely awake and fell asleep without a peep! It was really God's grace because we had it covered in prayer!

While we were at my parents' house, we decided to take a picture of Clara that recreated a picture of Michael when he was 3.5 months old. I guess we don't have to wonder who this little lady looks like....and I'm just fine with her looking just like her Daddy :) (although we have found a handful of pictures where she looks a little like her mommy!)

Clara is gnawing her hands constantly and sticking everything in her mouth, but we have yet to see any teeth! That's okay with me, as I'm not ready for another sign that she's growing up! However, the teething necklace does look extremely cute!

Clara Josephine, we love you sweet girl. You are a joy. May you always know how much we love you...but may you always remember that Jesus loves you more! He will be with you even when we can't be!

Clara and her BFF Irene ;)

Big girl in her bumbo seat

My New Body

Looking in the mirror these days is not something I enjoy. Honestly, I barely recognize my body anymore and some days I feel really sad about that. The stretch marks, the extra skin, the oh-so-attractive muffin top, the spider veins, the bald spots forming around my face from post natal hormones--some days I just want to "feel pretty" again. I want to look in the mirror and think, "Wow, those weeks at the gym have really paid off!" (I haven't been to a gym in 5 years...)  I'm just being honest here...some days I really struggle with my new body.

Last week I was planning to wear a dress I had worn in a wedding two years ago. As date night approached, I tried on my dress and the zipper wouldn't budge. Then I realized that none of the dresses hanging in my closet fit my "new body." I put them all in a pile for Goodwill...and I felt really sad doing so. It's like I've come to the end of era or something. After baby #1 my body bounced back pretty quickly. Baby #2 took a little longer, but I still felt okay. But now after baby #3, I'm realizing that some things will never "go back"--and this is the new me...mom bod and all.

I've really wrestled with this over the past two weeks. I know all the good Christian girl answers about how I am beautiful no matter what and its what on the inside that matters. And I believe those things. But I still live in a culture that places so much emphasis on appearance and perfection...even I get caught up in the lies and deception at times (much to the devil's delight).  But as I have prayed and wrestled and shared with others, the Lord has graciously girded my heart with truth. 

The truth is, my body is a temporary shell that is is quickly fading away. It is in a constant state of decay and one day, it will die forever. My body is what houses my soul while I live on this earth. My soul will live eternally. My body will not. And no matter if my body is fit and skinny and perfect or if it is saggy, squishy and "used up"--it will pass away. And one glorious day in Christ's eternal Kingdom, I will receive a brand spankin' new body.

So I have a choice to make. I can either sulk and pout over the way pregnancy has changed my body, or I can praise God for the opportunity to so tangibly lay down my life for the sake of another (John 15:13). I can consume myself with trying to get my pre-baby body back, a feat rooted in pride and vanity; or I can humble myself , eat nourishing foods, exercise when possible, and submit my body to God's pleasure--knowing that He wants to use my life to bear fruit for eternity. Eternity, folks! What an honor that my body has been used to create and sustain eternal souls. Oh, may I be a faithful steward of all He's entrusted me with. And may I glory in this "used up" body, for it has been His vessel to bring three precious image bearers into this world. And by His grace, may they grow up to proclaim His name boldly to the world. What a privilege that He would choose me to play just a small role in His story.

And when I stand in Christ's eternal Kingdom--Lord willing with my earthly children around me also worshiping the Holy Lamb of God--never will I ever say, "I wish I had spent more time at the gym" or "I wish my body had looked better on earth." I will only be consumed with His glory and goodness. And I'll be so glad my body was used for His purposes.

May it be so, Lord, may it be so.