I absolutely love Christmas. It is my favorite time of year. But this year, there seemed to be an ache in my heart.
All of the hustle and bustle, the shopping and gifts, the music and sparkles...its all so fun and exciting. But it ends there. There is no depth, no heart-satisfying contentment. And after its all over, we're left just the same as we were before. This year was the first year that I've truly grieved over what Christmas has become in our culture.
Sure, I've thought about it before. I've been sad that we focus so much more on the temporary gifts and neglect the True Gift. I even remember as a little girl feeling guilty about not reading the Bible before tearing into presents on Christmas morning. But I guess having a child this year really caused me to stop and think about how we want to frame Christmas for him. Do we want him to remember a cool toy? A fun family tradition? A giggly movie night with hot chocolate? These are all perfectly fine to enjoy, but they are not the essence of Christmas.
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| JH's stocking at Oma and Opa's house |
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| Reading the Polar Express from Uncle Drew |
Our greatest desire and prayer for John Hudson is that he will love Jesus with all his heart, mind, soul, and strength. We long for him to have a intimate relationship with Jesus and a heart for the lost. We hope that God will channel John's talents for His glory alone. We hope that he will treasure Jesus just because He's Jesus, and not only for the good things He gives.
Because of this, we've decided not to do the tradition of Santa Clause with John Hudson. Michael and I both believed in Santa when we were young, and we still love Jesus. But after much prayer and reading this blog we decided that yes, while Santa is fun and playful, Santa has no essence. And when "he" leaves, we're left just the same as before. And honestly, when compared to Jesus Christ--the Almighty God becoming flesh and coming to dwell among sinful man--well, Santa seems like a cheap imitation.
This year we are still praying through what our Christmas traditions will look like. (and they might vary from year to year). Since we were planning to spend Christmas morning with Michael's family, we decided to do our small family celebration on Christmas Eve. We had been preparing for the celebration by reading advent readings together each evening and singing Christmas hymns together at bedtime. On Christmas Eve, we enjoyed a delightful breakfast and a time of worship as a family (and we also had a friend join us). Then we each opened three gifts to represent the three gifts Jesus received--Gold (something that we desired), Frankincense (something for our spiritual life), and Myrrh (something for our body). We also had a few small gifts in our stockings. Afterwards, we sang happy birthday to Jesus and blew out the candles on His birthday cake. It was such a sweet and worshipful time. We ended the day by celebrating with the body of Christ at a Christmas Eve church service.
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| My handsome groom carving the turkey |
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| Jh's nativity set "worshipping" as set up by Daddy |
We're not perfect parents--and sometimes it scares me how capable we are of messing up. We do it every single day. But prayerfully, we will continue to walk forward on this journey of parenthood...looking to Jesus for each decision as it comes.
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