We woke up Sunday morning to more runny noses and coughing. It's been going on for a few weeks, off and on. The kids haven't been sick per say, but these symptoms just keep lingering. Michael and I both knew we couldn't take them to the church nursery with those nasty coughs. But staying home meant that I couldn't go either. And that was not how I wanted my Sunday to go.
I felt the comparisons brewing in my mind and heart. How come he never has to stay home with sick kids? It must be nice to have so much freedom to do whatever you'd like. I wish I could just get up and go without having to plan for three tiny people's every need. Of course, I knew I was being irrational. He has stayed home with sick children before, but today he had obligations at church. He actually doesn't have a lot of freedom as he balances work, home, church, friends, etc. And while he may not plan for the daily needs of three little ones, he is responsible for the daily well-being and academic success of twenty-seven sixth graders. The truth is, this had nothing to do with what my husband does or does not do. This battle had to do with the condition of my wayward heart.
You see, I woke up Sunday morning with a very specific agenda in mind. I was excited to get out of the house and fellowship with other believers at church. The days have been long since Michael has been coaching basketball, and any opportunity to get out of the house is welcome. I was looking forward to worshiping the Lord corporately, and quite frankly, getting a short break from the constant demands of mommyhood. I felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me when suddenly, I was faced with another day at home.
With hot tears stinging my eyes, I opened my Bible.
But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many. Matthew 20:28
Ouch. He came not to be served. But to serve. If anyone deserved to be served, it was Him. If anyone deserved a "day off," it was Him. And yet, He looked to the Father for strength and simply pressed on...loving...giving...serving...forgiving...healing...speaking...praying...
Oh friends, this life is so not about me. It's about Him and His Renown. His glory. His fame among the nations. And this motherhood thing? It's a calling. A privilege. Just one way I can lay down my life just as He laid down His for me.
And the truth is, this season will not last forever. Yet the momentary sacrifices of motherhood have the potential to reap eternal benefits.
So my prayer today is that I will meditate on Jesus and His beautiful example of servanthood. That I would think of Him and His love for people--even when he must have felt frustrated, annoyed or just plain ole' burnt out. That I would submit my wayward will to my Father's will and accept His agenda for my day, realizing that He is using all things and circumstances to sanctify me.
He knew that the best thing for me on this Sunday morning was to be "stuck" at home with three needy little people. He saw that there are (many) places in my heart that need to be challenged, bent, and conformed into His likeness. And He knew that runny noses and fussy babies were the best way to accomplish His will for my life on this particular day.
May it be so, dear Lord Jesus. Sanctify me for your glory and renown!
For this is the will of God, your sanctification.
1 Thessalonians 4:3
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18